Unplugged Ceremonies? Cell phones at weddings?
My most recent wedding inquiry came from a fairly young couple (high school sweethearts that are finishing up their undergrad degrees. While I was speaking to them one of the last questions they asked me was “how do you feel about cell phones at weddings?” I know they were basically asking if I would be offended if people were using their cell phones throughout the day - or if they were not in fact having the ever so popular “unplugged ceremony”.
In my typical neurodivergent ADHD fashion, I responded with a short but long answer: if people are being respectful it does not bother me, and I actually photograph in a documentary kind of style that I often end up INCLUDING them purposefully in some photos. I could see the two of them smile, and look at each other, then back at myself and nod their heads.
Is it easier to photograph when people are not holding up cell phones and iPads, or trying to get the same photo I’m getting? Sure, but I don’t really find myself trying to battle it out with a guest using their phone in my way. Once in a while I have to remind someone that they stepped in the frame of my photo - mostly when we are doing large formal portraits, and people are moving about. I don’t think there is a black and white answer to whether you should or should not allow guests to use their phones at weddings: there are pros and cons to allowing free use of phones and for limiting phones! So hopefully, after reading through this blog post you learn some things, and you also give second thought to what fits best for you and your wedding day.
What are some pros to having an unplugged (phone free) wedding?
Guests can be more present
People are not moving around during ceremony and important parts of the day trying to get the same photos as the photographer, potentially getting in the way
Photos of the ceremony do not include people holding up screens
Fewer distractions
You have more control over which photos are displayed on social media
So I think from the “pros” standpoint, people think having an unplugged ceremony will help keep the focus on the moment, and keep “unsightly” handheld devices out of photos.
Lilly and Jesus invited people to their wedding via WhatsApp since they were living in Peru, but getting married in NYC
What are some cons to having an unplugged wedding?
You will not see other people’s photos/experiences (photos help tell a story, and not everyone experiences moments the same way, or even from the same vantage point)
Some people may rely on some of those photos if they could not be there (a photographer is trying to capture your day but we cannot capture EVERYTHING - your friends from college may be photographing each other throughout the day, while I may have been with you and your family during certain times)
Anybody who could not make it there because they were unwell or because of a scheduling/life conflict will not be able to see those photos or videos in real time
Addressing some of the above points - as a professional wedding photographer
Guests can be more present
I think this is a great thing to want - but just because someone’s phone is away it does not mean they are more present. For some people, not being able to use their phone is more of a distraction. For some people (especially with ADHD), being asked to focus on one thing is a difficult task.
Fewer distractions from movement and/or handhelds in photos
Yes, it will make the photographers job easier if they do not have to worry about someone stepping into an aisle, or holding up a phone in a dramatic photo. However, I sometimes purposely use people taking photos as a way to tell more of the story. In some instances, I use it as a frame within the photo for whatever I am photographing at the time, others, I’m trying to capture the reactions of the person who is recording/photographing.
More control over shared photos
This is two fold: some people take GREAT alternate angle photos, sometimes just by luck. And its amazing to see some of those! Others take less than flattering photos, and those may end up on social media.
Including those who could not attend
Especially in the past few years, we have a lot more instances where people get severely sick, hurt, or have obligations that leave them unable to attend a wedding, and sometimes last minute. Fortunately with technology, we can still include people via FaceTime, Zoom, Google Meets, etc. Some of those people may be relying on those photos or video clips - and the couple may not have been able to afford (or did not want) a videographer or someone for a professional Live Stream.
HUMANS WILL BE HUMANS
If you just have a sign out that says no phones, people will easily pass by without reading it, or just ignore it.
Inevitably some people will choose to not follow directions anyway.
Some information that was brought to my attention about accessibility in the wedding industry…
In the past few years, I have started following many more diverse creators which have led me to unpacking some of my previous thoughts/beliefs/experiences and learning more about what I may or may not have thought about before. In December 2021, Shannon Collins made an Instagram post (which you can find here) about unplugged ceremonies being ableist, at first I thought how is that possible? Instead of being defensive, I had to lean into being slightly uncomfortable to learn something.
We often think of phones as being a necessary evil to keep up in todays world, but what many of us have the privilege of is not thinking about how these devices are regularly used for people as accessibility aids; from life saving to communication. Did you know that diabetics can use their phones to track blood sugar? Here are some of the other ways phones may be used at any given time to assist somebody.
Live captions of conversations (can transcribe a ceremony for deaf and hard of hearing folks)
Communication apps for non-verbal people
Timers and reminders for regular medications
Apps to help reduce anxiety
Can take photos to help enlarge details
Mindfulness and/or distraction in higher anxiety situations
However Shannon also mentioned that this is not an all encompassing list and for some Autistic celebrants or speakers with sensory challenges, phones may add stress or a distraction on fast paced or stressful days. Accommodating for many peoples needs is nuanced and can be difficult - but outright banning phones may not be the best option (or it could be - depending on your personal situation!)
My thoughts on phone usage at weddings
As I told the couple I was meeting with (who are now planning their wedding day with me!), I generally don’t have a problem with it as long as people are respectful. However, being a former teacher, I’ve learned you need to DEFINE what words mean and what those expectations are. Being respectful would look like not stepping in front of (or competing with) vendors who are tasked with covering that day, keeping an eye out for others taking photo/video that they are not about to walk into or trip over anyone or anything, and not posting photos immediately if the couple does not want them posted immediately.
I also think guests who are taking photos of each other will add to their experience of the day, including the celebrants. While the photos may not be as technical as the professional photographer, they may capture moments when we are not in that immediate area, or of something happening while we were capturing another really big moment. Many people enjoy documenting parts of their life and it offers an extra way to enjoy and experience things. Personally, I won’t really dance at weddings when I’m a guest, and I often feel awkward; but if I’m with my cameras, I’m much more outgoing, I feel purpose, and I’ll even dance around a bunch of strangers.
As I’ve said in one of the above sections, when I see phones out at weddings I don’t always try to avoid them! If it’s a portrait, I don’t want phones in the photo, but if its candids from the day, it was a part of the day! I can frame people with other cameras or phones, it provides a guest like view, or sometimes you catch amazing reactions while people are photographing or recording on their phones taking in the moment.
Some of my favorites that couples have addressed about phones at weddings include:
INVITING people to join them in being present (not mandating that people turn off phones)
The officiant offering a 1-2 minute photo op before the ceremony so guests can all take great photos of the couple facing them before the ceremony starts
The couple actually taking selfies with each other and with all their guests in the background before the wedding (literally at the front of the ceremony space!)
Providing disposable film cameras to guests so they can capture the day through their eyes
QR codes to shared folders or apps to collect guest photos
I know people love immediate, or at least quick, access to photos and I want to make sure as a wedding photographer that my celebrants have a few quality photos to share while they are waiting for their fully gallery so I offer sneak peaks within 48 hours of an event.
If you landed here from outside of my own website, learn more about me HERE. If you’re looking for a photographer that celebrates and affirms you, go ahead and send an e-mail over to rylottphotos@gmail.com or fill out my contact form.